I will not forget myself.
I will love my partner as much as my child.
I will pursue my interests and hobbies.
I will have a healthy routine..
...
So on and so forth.
Well one year and three months later, I can definitely say I don't have a routine whatsoever forget a healthy one, my only favourite hobby (which I am craving) for is sleeping without intervals, I know for a true fact that I can never love anyone on this earth as much as I love my child and I am completely busy in becoming a mother to think about myself !
Did I say "becoming"? Oh yeah! Coz unlike the Bollywood-ish fantasy of sudden promotion to motherhood at the sight of your child with overwhelming tears.. I was having a panick attack when I saw my child for the first time.. he was so tiny and I was wondering how the hell did I even assume I am capable of rising another human being when I can't even hold one ???? Almost like my child could sense my pounding heart he got more and more comfortable with his dad and grandmother. On the contrary to general beliefs, fatherhood came easy to my husband than motherhood to me.( Tad jealous 😏)
As time passed many battles of breastfeeding,underconfidence,helplessness were won and eventually motherhood happened to me. As my son is growing to recognize me more and more, I have started to "become" a mother.
Is it easy to have a piece of your mind always wondering if baby is fine/hungry/awake/asleep/fallen/pooping ? Ofcourse not.
But is it worth to have a part of your heart walking around you smiling away? Well sure yeah!! There is something about being with a child that refines you as an individual. I know my journey has just begun and I don't know if I will turn out to be a decent mother, good mother or a great one.. but one thing I wanna make sure is that I am a Happy mother!
P.S Happy Mother's Day!!
