Anupama 2.0

Anyone who knows me from a distance would tell I am a warm ever smiling positive friendly individual. Someone a little closer would know I am a strong opinionated patient and a loving person. At a little more closer look, they would say I am a person who is overly opinionated bordering on stubbornness , tolerant but with a sharp tongue , emotional to a level of being called stupid or crazy , over critical with an irritating astute ( I hate u for remembering this type) memory.

If my neighbours could hear the way I speak and what all I speak at home, they would pray to God everyday to not give them a child like me..Lol 😂 (most parents want an obedient child, don't they 🤔) Well it's partly because my normal conversation with my dad sounds like a fight to outsiders..( face palm) Also I have this " of course I am right " ring to whatever I speak you know.. 😎 ( hereditary problem 😊)

So , imagine the same Anupama to be married one fine day bound by the unspoken invisible but all over the place marital expectations ; she in front of her in laws asking for what to do when and answering haanji most of the times....doesn't it look like a split personality disorder ?? It surely does! I shock myself most of the times !  What is more astounding is how naturally it comes to me!  😁 I start doubting myself if I am becoming unrecognizable to myself in that bahu mode.

Fortunately I am still the same strong opinionated  person , just that I don't give my opinions until I am asked to and don't show off my strength until needed. 😜😜 It's about giving space for the new home to know the loving  and obedient side of me before they have to put up with the stubborn part may be. Lol..😂

Coming back to my musing, I always wonder seeing my mom and other mothers around me as to how were they when they were girls. There is no way they might have had a problem with a messy room then too 😋 he he..When I listen to some of them , I can sense that some miss that girl who they used to be but some have managed to keep that silly girl part intact in them. As a lesson , I keep reminding  myself that no matter how madly I love this man I am still going to be sane enough to realise that I don't need to completely modify the woman he fell in love with,in order to accomodate his world ( it would be anti climax for him! ) .So for now this is  Anupama 2.0 in transition, growing to be the lady of the house from being a pampered daughter/ bully of her house. 😇😇

My best friend's wedding

I ve known her for vaguely 15 years and closely from 12 years! Have spent 4 years like inseparable siamese twins who are everywhere together. Up until I met her, I had already had my share of good friends and I am one of those who gets pampered not just loved by her friends. So my standards for a best friend was and is really high. However , when she entered my life she took pampering to some other level so much so that when I was alone and ill , my mom used to ask a single question.. is namrata around..and end the call.(considering moms and their hysteria u shud know how big deal this is 😋)  ! She is one of those ppl on earth who are initially difficult to digest because you don't know ppl can be so good too! She loves a lot.. cares a lot.. puts herself as last priority in her list (which I don't approve of 🙄). Well I could not learn from her to be selfless and all but she did make me feel so cared that I realised how good you feel when someone cares for you.( I was almost an inexpressive analysing robot then) A bit of that care seeped into my character through her, fortunately. More than anything, she was the one who made me realize home can be a person too! Over the years we have grown as individuals and learnt to accept and respect our flaws,  love more and more with time and treasure our friendship. Though given a choice I would keep her all to myself, I am giving up my selfish instincts realising that time has come for her THE day..her wedding day ! In my eyes she is that tender flower which wrong ppl will hold the wrong way and crush . So I am secretly very protective about her and feel any man is not good enough to nurture that tender flower!!
So giving her away to a man is not easy at all! As the special day is nearing,I am trying to be all matured composed and dignified about it..but secretly I am just hoping that I shouldn't breakdown on her wedding 😂😂

The other shade of grey

As the sun shone upon me on a bright sunny Sunday, my mind was almost resolved to have a good day. In an equally bright mood I was casually crossing the road when a bike passed in front of me with a man calling aloud... big boobs...! Yes, I know I have them but I do not expect any stranger to inform me so, publicly like that. 🙄🙄 (Just in case if my disapproval was not obvious) No, it was not midnight but broad daylight. No, I was not inappropriately dressed.. I had wore a decent t shirt and jeans with a stole fully covering my so called big boobs. 😏

Well in reality, I am quite thick skinned,old enough to be used to such incidents and not someone who gets effected easily. Frankly, we women are so used to men looking at us with eyes saying the same words, silently but loud and clear.  If so, then someone shouting the same shouldn't bother me much right? After all ,this is not such a big incident ! But for few hours it did bother me a lot. Suddenly I was conscious of how I look, stand,walk,talk and what not. Not only did I question the bubble of civilized society in my head, I almost questioned my whole existence!  Moreover, I really don't know what we are supposed to do.. shout back at that man who passed a derogatory remark oh so casually..hold him and beat him up or just be thankful that he didn't try to touch me like they have in currently viral clip of blore. No,its not that blore has suddenly become unsafe for women. It is like any part of this country.. sometimes safe and sometimes not. Also, It's not that we women feel like this all the time about everyone. We are sensitive enough to feel and know the difference between admiration and ogling. I myself even sympathise with the theory of generalising every man as lustful. But here I was suddenly hating every man I know and every man who came in front of my eyes for next few hours. Is this something we are supposed to accept and get used to?
How do we change the sense of normalcy which has existed in society about few men having this attitude towards women ? How do we deal with both men and women having the attitude of ladke to ladke hai kind of nonsense in their heads? Why this obnoxious acceptance about how the world is ?? 

Being my optimistic self, I am hopeful that the next bunch of men and women will be better than us and by then we will learn to focus more on teaching men how to respect and behave with women than teaching women how to be safe.

But till then?? May be we should just rely on luck !!